......fines.....

I'm going to start fining myself for all the whining I'm doing.
I re-read some of my posts and even though it's genuine feeling, I AM WHINING.
I gotta see this through, you know?
(can you guess who watched Biggest Loser last night.....?)

SO today, I"m cleaning house and exercising. Until I drop.
And no whining...at all...

Other things I'm thinking:

-that I wish I liked yogurt. It is on ALL of the diet plans, but I think it stinks. Literally. I can't get past the smell.....yuck.
-I'm indulging in Pity Talk, telling myself that this is not working. No change is really happening (more whining) but then I go to carry something heavy and it's not so bad....
-about building a home gym. A small one with minimal equipment. I would watch TV and do crunches....I swear in our next house, I'm going to do that....
-thinking about the move and the stress of moving. But also thinking about the excitement of moving! A new place, husband will have a new job (same job in a diff place).....

Great, now I'm whining AND babbling....I'll never get any readers at this point...
I'm off to the gym before I piss myself off again...

.....really....

You can pick your nose, you cannot pick your days....
That lil nose pickin' boy has NOTHING to do with my post.
I googled "bad day photo" and this is what popped up: who am I to deny its cuteness?

Had a REALLY crappy day yesterday. REALLY.
This on the heels of agreeing to double up on my training, working out and eating even better....
One of my kids has some issues (understatement of the year).....I didn't get to go to the gym, didn't get to workout. Just had nothing but stress. Stress which makes my body release enough cortisol for an army....

Really.....

But this is my life. My stress weighs me down. I walk around here most days feeling like I have a boulder on my back. STRESS is figuratively and literally weighing me down. Even my trainer thinks so. He thinks it's impossible, as much as I have been working, and eating (almost always) healthy and still cannot shake the weight....

But how does one rid your life of stress? Do I just kick my kid out?
Believe me, yesterday I wanted to.
But it's not just the kids. It's life.....Life is inherently stressful.
So my trainer recommended meditation.
I'm not really the meditating type. I'd rather blast some AC/DC on my iPod or hit something with a bat. But I might try it....At this point, I'll do anything.
It's either meditate or smoke pot (which was a suggestion of a lady at the gym). I just don't like the whole ILLEGAL part of that, not to mention the insane munchies I would get which would make me gain MORE weight....

See what I mean.......?

How did I handle yesterday's stress.....? I swallowed it....I dealt with the moment at hand and I shoved my emotions down. NOT GOOD. Usually that would cause me to find my comfort in the bottom of a bowl of ice cream....but I didn't do it. {Full disclosure: I did eat two FunSize Butterfingers to quell the Beast...} but I stopped there....

I slept horribly. I am mentally wringing my hands. I'm seriously stressed.
But today is a different day and I'm just going to cope as best I can.
Stay the course, stay away from things that tempt me and pray that I am strong....
I think I'll do some Wii yoga....and then go to the gym.....

Tomorrow weigh in PLUS measurements.....

still here....

life ran me over.
I got busy.
I'm tired....

There....you have my excuses.....Now leave me alone.

No seriously, I've been seriously moody and just haven't felt like opening up.
I didn't get to work out three days in a row, due to some family crap and I felt like it set me back. (whine)

I just wish the results of my exercise were clearer, you know.....?

I'm frustrated. And I miss ice cream.