Friday, February 5, 2010

moods and foods...

I don't think I am moody anymore...
I honestly think I am depressed.
It's hard to say what is the cause: my hormones (which are all over the place), my weight (which doesn't move), my crushing responsibilities (which never end).
I'm just really blue. I have no motivation. I don't care about anything. Not even food...
I don't usually get like this in the winter.
But I will admit here and nowhere else: I think I'm depressed.

Now what do I do about it?
Well, today is a Snow Day. I live on the (B)East Coast, where they're calling this THE STORM OF THE CENTURY....(they say that every time...cry wolf, anyone?)
So my kids are home, we have a stack of movies and kid-approved snacks.
And I can't go to the gym :(

This actually bums me out even further. I WANTED TO GO TODAY.
So I'm forced to work out at home.
With the kids watching me.
I have a hard time with people watching me.
I don't like an audience.
I have a hard enough time when my abs-of-Steel trainer watches me.....

Man, am I whiny today or what?
Whiny AND depressed and still fat.
I'm a real catch.....

Usually if I am bummed, I will try to bring myself out of it with some sort of comfort food. Not this time. I fixed BACON this morning (which let's be honest, has no nutritive value whatsoever, it just tastes WICKED good.....) and I took one bite and threw it away....

That's what I knew something was wrong.

So why do we have comfort foods? What's yours? Mine is usually bread. I love bread. Which explains my hips.

Speaking of hips, you know what I did yesterday? I was naked (ugh) in front of the mirror and I pulled all my hip fat aside to see what I would like without the fat on them, and underneath the rolls, I have a delicious hourglass figure. Will I ever see it? It depends on how hard I am willing to work. What I am willing to give up.

I gotta shake these blues.....just gotta...

Tomorrow I will weigh in for this blog. No one else is reading it so it's essentially my online diary...

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