Thursday, April 15, 2010

wow...a step back

it's been almost 3 weeks since I've posted.
I feel like I'm talking to myself, but I'm good with that.
But the keeping it a secret has been TOUGH.

I've still been working out, trying to eat healthy, and staying the course.
I feel strong but not losing the weight I want to lose.
I still weigh the same as I did when I did the weigh in....damn it.

So I'm trying something completely different.
In addition to my weight and strength training, I'm going to run every night.
Which terrifies me. All of my fat giggling and bouncing....Not what I want to do, but I gotta shake things up!! This is a big deal because it will mean double the workout, plus it will mean taking time away from my family. I am willing to be a little selfish for my own health. Do you know any women, probably your own momma, who puts herself last? Yeah, me too.
Well, that putting myself last is keeping me unhealthy. So no more.

Me first. Gotta make others stand on their own two feet. Don't just SAY you're supportive. Show it by emptying this dishwasher and fixing your own snacks/meals so I can concentrate on me for a bit. (Can you tell it's also THAT time of the month...? Yep I'm a little emotional/bitchy/demanding....)

I made some decisions in these past 3 weeks.
Gained some perspective.
I stepped back, and now I'm stepping back in with both feet.
Watch out, fat. You ain't gonna last against this determination. Just you wait and see.
As soon as I get back from the gym, I'll weigh in so I can track this better. Plus my trainer is going to do my Body Fat today. Yippee.

(I'm also going to have to tell my husband. Finding time to update this in secret is impossible. Plus I really don't like hiding stuff from him....)

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